Friday, April 1st, 2011: Clyde Commons

To say I needed a drink tonight would be an understatement. I've spent the past 8 days with teenagers and came back to the hell of planning a school wide assembly. Clyde Commons was exactly what I needed.

Via Unknown Source

 One greyhound in and the worries of my world were washed down, as did the fact I'm gluten intolerant. But on this Friday night, the rules went out the window. I will get drunk the night before wine tasting, I will eat gluten after a week of southern buffet bouncing and I will order dessert even though I gave it up for lent :) God understands that tonight is the exception. And whoever says food and alcohol can't solve your problems couldn't be more wrong. Let me tell you, I feel 95% better now.

We had the most delightful waiter who suggested blue cheese on my burger. Oh the burger . . . but why, when I told him it was incredible, did he have to tell me they hand grind the meat themselves daily, adding pork fat to it? Adding fat to fat isn't usually appetizing, but tonight I just smiled, loving the extra fat and feeling my face blow up two sizes. The burger was obviously perfectly cooked medium rare, because this is Clyde Commons and they know what they are doing--smoothly melted blue cheese, a perfect hint of pungent, without overshadowing the beef.

Via unknown source

 I also ordered their $3 happy hour salad of mixed greens with a berry vinaigrette. And they brought us a small plate of their salted foccacio bread, with olive oil and crushed pepper. Melted. In. Our. Mouths. The simplest of things at Clyde are extraordinary for some reason; I can't put my tongue on why.

I think our waiter was amused by our chatter--ranging from law school, how to pronounce the menu, dating men 20 years older, how many fun size candy bars make up a real bar and things of that nature--and so when I asked for the dessert menu and the girls all said no and I exclaimed, I've had the most stressful week of my life, I'm getting dessert, he promptly brought me over a class of champagne to go with my Baked Alaska. God bless his heart.

The champagne-buzz-dessert combination is what really erased the past 24 hours of my life, leaving me worry free and knowing that life's OK. The Baked Alaska: chocolate mouse, along side a chocolate cookie, topped with bruleed merengie. Here's the kicker, which makes Clyde Commons just so spectaculare, inside the merenge is bourbon ice cream!!!! And to the side, in an adorable miniture pot, are toffee crumbles. Ahhh its all too much; I love it so.

So my advice friends and enemies a like: know that life will never be so difficult that you can't eat and drink your way to a better understanding of your challenges.

Salad Rollin'

I have a sick obsession with Thai salad rolls. I think about them more then I probably should. Recently I discovered that, what used to be Sweet Basil Thai--now Oasisba, has delicious salad rolls for $2.25 during happy hour!!! This steal is beyond spectacular. Now from 5:00-6:30 daily I'm haunted by my salad rolls.

Oasisba is a little "different" then your average Thai joint. Not only because they offer Thai infusion, but because their servers are men dressed as women doing stand-up karoke throughout the evening. Yes, its exactly what you are picturing: drag queens taking your order, but before placing it, jumping up on tiny 5x6 foot stage to sing some show tunes, Celine Diane and even some Florence in the Machine.

This makes for a tiny bit of awkwardness when I have to get my salad roll fix by my lonesome, as I'm doing now. Those passing by doing a double take and for the life of me I can't figure out if it's because I'm sitting alone in a drag queen restaurant or if they are thinking what I am thinking, which is damn he's really hot for a girl??!

So now I'm sitting here jealous that his legs are much nicer then mine and that I'm a loner eating salad rolls in a drag restaurant as people judge me. Let me reassure you though. . . I'm perfectly content: salad rolls, Willamette Weekly in hand and watching you stare at me, as we both wonder if "you're thinking what I'm thinking."

Oh and if you're wondering about anything else besides the salad rolls . . . I'm not too impressed. Its average Thai food, but the major perk is their entertainment. My roommates love their House Special Curry, which is a yummy peanut sauce curry. Their happy hour menu is large, but practically everything else is fried. My advice is to go for a pre-dinner/gym/yoga /after Oprah snack.

Nacho Sunday

Growing up my mom used to make giant Nachos. We would have Nacho Sunday's. I didn't appreciate these  as a kid. Shame on me. As a grown up and now one that avoids gluten, I'm pretty into Nachos, especially ones that cost a mere $4.00 and fill four people up.

Casa Del Matador is their name. Nachos are their game. Oh and tequila. I don't drink tequila, but I do eat nachos. Daily from 4:00-6:00 and again from 10:00-1:00, you can order up their piping hot nachos for four buckeroo's. You can also add steak, chicken or chorizo for an additional $2.00. I prefer the chicken. This reminds me . . . the Superbowl is this Sunday and although I don't remember who's playing, I do know that nachos must be present.

These Nachos as an appetizer and a bowl of their Roasted Tomato Chicken Soup, made with a house-made chicken stock and flavored with lime, garlic, cumin, cilantro, onion, tomatoes, polenta and avocado, was overly filling and appetizing beyond belief.

I'll be back very soon to try their Goat Cheese Overstuffed Jalapenos . . . which are stuffed with ummm . . . bacon. Yes, it's true.


**Matador has an online Gluten Free Menu for those in need. Lots of choices and many substitutions can be made.

I'll Take the Whole Sea: Masu Sushi

Obsessed. Obsessed like the movie Obsessed. In order to cleanse from the Thanksgiving extravaganza, I was courted to Masu Sushi. This however was not a cleanse. I ate a sea worth of sushi. I died and went to sushi heaven. It was a nice place made of wasabi clouds. It rained sake. 

This is shi shi sushi. This is tres chic sushi. Not cheap . . . keep that in mind.

We ordered the menu. I know my pictures don't prove this, because this asshole I was with was "embarressed" of my photography skills, complaining that the flash was bothering other patrons. I was able to snap a few pictures before the camera was snatched from my death grip. It was OK though, I needed my full attention on the sushi.

Their specialty rolls are ridiculous.

…..death by sushi . . . salmon, unagi, crab, avocado and cream cheese rolled and fried then topped with masago, green onion, fantasy and eel sauce 6 pieces $12.

…..st. helen’s volcano . . .whitefish, crab, scallops, shrimp and avocado baked with our volcano cream sauce, eel sauce and smoked bonito. 6 pieces $12.

. . . . ragin’ cajun . . . dungeness and softshell crab and cucumber inside topped with cajun seared tuna and avocado finished with fantasy sauce, green onion and togarashi. 8 pieces $17.

 . . . japanista . . . spicy crab, spicy tuna and kawaire with seared hamachi, cilantro and red jalapeno on top served with our hana and sweet chili sauce. 8 pieces $15.

 . . . .on the cheap . . . The Caterpillar role is probably the best value. Large and only $9. Their happy hour is practically half off of sushi (minus the specialty rolls). Rolls are between $3.50-$5.00. They also offer some non-traditional Japanese for your less cultured friends--like a kobe beef burger with house tonkatsu for $8.

Park in the Indigo Garage for 2hrs of parking validation.

Fancy Mac N' Cheeze

Velvety Mac 'N' Cheese, $5.00

How did I miss this one? It was staring me straight in the face too. I had no clue. I was clueless. Davis Street Tavern's happy hour is now on my hit list. By hit list I mean spots to hit up . . . not shoot up (in case you were confused).

I have one complaint, but I'll wait until after I tell you about this Mac N' Cheese to share it. Davis Street Tavern has incredible, superb, to-die-for, mouthwatering, ooey gooey, cheesy macaroni and cheese. Three cheese  bechamel  they say. I'm guessing . . . an aged white cheddar, cream cheese and a blue or gorgonzola which hits just at the end.

The waiter literally had to pry the plate from my hands.

Ok, so you're lactose intolerant. Not to worry. They have a Bar B Que Pulled Pork Sandwich with Apple Fennel Slaw and Blue Cheese Potato Salad ($5.00).

 Succulent pork. Brightly flavored. Smokey. Ohhh soo good.

One of their specials was Fish Tacos with Guacamole.

Going back very, very soon for the Strip Loin Burger, Crab Bisque and Seared Albacore Carpaccio.

Oh ya my complaint . . . Old Town in the daylight . . . sometimes not so appetizing. Good thing it will start getting dark at 5:00 pm.